Would you have said it was romantic and full of passion before the onset of motherhood? Would you have said it was spontaneous?
Would you even go as far to say that you both were, in the beginning, mentally and physically stimulated?
I bet you would say…your best friend, lover and soul
mate swept you off your feet!
And then came along your first experience at motherhood and never in a million years would you have ever dreamed that your relationship would have changed so dramatically.
And never would you have thought that you would be putting in twice the amount of effort to keep all the pistons of romance firing as always.
You are not alone! Neither did most mothers.
Sure there was the expectancy of loss of sleep, bodily physical changes, the expectancy of many daily routines being re-arranged and even the expectancy of relationship changes to include being a mother, but nothing like you’ve probably seen, heard or possibly even felt in your home.
Some mothers accidentally (it was an accident) let their relationships slip through the little cracks because the focus was on being a great mother. But maybe that was not you, maybe you were the one pulling all the weight of motherhood and trying to keep the romance alive.
Either position can lead to resentment. You can be resenting your spouse and your spouse can start resenting you. And trust me when it’s said that every little thing done or not done will irritate you.
Maybe it has gotten to the point that you want to go but you still have those wonderful memories and of course you want to keep the family together.
That is the position that you will hear from most moms. They are staying together with their spouse because of love and love of the family. Some are overly extending themselves while some have thrown in the towel.
While it really does take two to make or break a relationship, it only takes one to get the ball rolling even after motherhood.
Get Real! I wish that could be said to all marital partners. Being a mother let alone a parent with all the responsibilities that come along with the territory will take a toll on any hot romance to nearly extinguish all the flames.
Not one single person on this earth is perfect and not one single person that walks this earth never changes.
Mothers are realizing that to keep their romance alive that they must not only work on the communication with their spouse but also with oneself. They’re taking daily, baby steps to fuel their relationships to survive many storms and that includes motherhood.
Remember though, the most important part of any relationship whether you are in the dating stages or an actual marriage is being attractive to yourself first.
No we’re not talking about that physically attractiveness. Well, actually we are but we are also talking about mentally as in your mind, soulfully as in your spirit, and then physically as in your body.
It is important to be not only emotionally and physically available to your children, but to yourself and your spouse. An excellent resource Save my marriage today discusses some of the various dangers when it comes to marriage and children including the most vital parts of getting a marriage back on healthy tracks.
Either way you decide to go, it really does take two but only one to get things rolling. Absolutely do not throw in the towel until all avenues have been exhausted.