Dealing with a school bully. Recently in from our askus/tellus section featured a question about how parents can help a child who is being bullied at school.
A Reader's Question
My question is quite simple though finding solutions seem to be the hardiest part of this mess. My son is being bullied by three boys he says want him to join their gang.
I have talked to the principle of the school but he feels it is just easier to expel everyone including my son and the one teacher who does everything she can, cannot be everywhere.
I am at my wits end, what should I do?
And Angela Answers
First of all, being able to obtain this information from perhaps a frighten teenager speaks volumes about your relationship. Not many kids even with a lot of probing and pulling will share such hurtful information with another adult let alone their parents about a school bully.
A child who is being bullied can develop most of the same health problems as that experience by physically or emotionally abused women and men. And it’s a shame our society does not say this type of behavior will not be tolerated. Kids will be kids, don’t be surprised to hear this very old saying in this new century!
Bullied children can suffer from self-esteem problems, depression, sleeping problems, and can lack the ability to truly function in childhood and adult relationships. So if you’ve gone through steps such as talking to the school’s principle, teachers, etc. Now you’ll want to prepare your child for the future.
Keep being his safe haven and keep talking to him even though he may feel the ordeal is over with it being summer. You’ll want to keep talking because there will always be someone unhappy and who has nothing better to do then bully. Here are some tips for dealing with a school bully:
Control His Anger
Just as parents may want to sprint to the rescue and fight to the end, encourage your child that violence with violence will create a never-ending situation. Tell him to walk away as much as possible and to form a system with his friends.
Ask them to support each other by walking together at school and other social functions. However, if there ever comes a time when your child will be alone or solo and may not be able to walk away from the school bully, encourage him to never turn his back and stand up for himself by saying things like No, Stop, Leave Me Alone until someone steps in to dissolve the situation.
Talk And Tell Someone
Counselors, teachers, principals, and other parents the child may respect. Encourage him to speak up for himself in your presence all the while being respectful to the other adults in the room. Anything else may cause some to think this is just another overprotective parent.
If the school bully of your child does not bore soon, continue to intervene as you’ve done and then take it further until it ends. Keep your child talking and keep arming him with life strategies for these type situations and others.